techpunkie43's Xanga

monumental

Mon, 11 Jun 2007 15:39:59 GMT

i can write safely here
because i assume most of my friends have abandoned xanga

well, k. it kinda goes like this.
[definition of rachel's heartbreak]

my bestie decided he doesn't like me as much
and doesn't enjoy being around me anymore
so we pretty much stopped talking out of no where.
but it's what he wanted, so i guess i can deal with it

then i started liking this boy, right?
and he was cute and funny and musical and artistic
but he ended up being an asshole just like everyone else
he says he doesn't like me because
he doesn't want to hurt a friend of his who does like me
but truthfully, i think it's bullshit
i think he needed an excuse
i don't think he ever really liked me in the first place

plus, i quit my job
which would be fine and dandy except for the fact
that i'm out every night of the week
and i need money to fund myself
which leads me to another problem,
lack of sleep
i usually nod off around five or six am
after a sleepless encounter at the apartment

which i may be avoiding for said time
as to not see said boy from above
the cutie
not the bestie

and that's the worst part, he really is cute.
and that's the worst part, i really did like him.

this is why
rachel.rockstar
doesn't date boys.
doesn't date anyone.
she keeps to herself.
&flirts with the world.

maybe i just won't ever let anyone get close to me.

Friday, March 30, 2007

Fri, 30 Mar 2007 15:07:32 GMT

florida
florida
florida

in 2 hours!

ahhh, i'll miss you all.

rachel rockstar will be causing havoc elsewhere this week.

back on easter.
loving and eighteen.

-Rache<3

Monday, March 05, 2007

Mon, 05 Mar 2007 11:09:11 GMT

i'm just waiting
for the person
who's supposed
to save me

on a lighter note,
i hope he's cute.

-Rache<3

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Sun, 25 Feb 2007 16:33:18 GMT

are things actually getting better?

i'm not sure if i should believe this
because chances are it's just going to start hurting again

but i can hope

why am i such a hopeful girl?

When can i be the happy-go-lucky Starbucks girlie I used to be?

Do you guys remember her?

-Rache<3

Monday, February 05, 2007

Mon, 05 Feb 2007 00:30:45 GMT

i'm feeling like a million dollars tonight.
a million dollars that someone lost.
that was picked up by an alcoholic hobo.
who ended up blowing it all on getting really [effing] drunk.
getting alcohol-poisoning.
and dying.

that's how i feel tonight.

-Rache<3

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Wed, 24 Jan 2007 11:25:32 GMT

where's that button that i can push
that will fast forward my life to the part i want it at?

oh wait.

it's times like these that form me.

i'll walk away from this stronger.
more experienced.
and readier.

if anything, you helped me grow.

"touchdown turnaround.
everything is safe and sound."

there are few things that can stop me.
and neither of you are one of them.

someone's going to make history.

*courtseys*

life is just an enlarged version of the adventures i take.
crysta and i know the rules.
and once you know the rules.
you know how to and when to
break them

i got this.

-Rache<3

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Sat, 06 Jan 2007 16:35:25 GMT

Tu lo sai. Quanto t'a mai, Tu lo sai, lo sai crudel. Io non bramo altra merce'. Mari corda ti di me.

Sunday, December 31, 2006

Sun, 31 Dec 2006 17:23:37 GMT

Time for Rachel's wonderful tradition once again.

New Year's Resolutions:
1. Successfully become a Vegan for an extended amount of time
2. Write a catchy, wonderful, love song
3. Live in my own apartment with a friend.
4. Get a new job, working somewhere I enjoy.
5. Buy a new bass, not to replace Daniel, but to be friends with him.

New Year's Revelations
1. Losing someone to death is very similar to losing someone's friendship.
2. You may only get one opportunity to do something, and if you ruin it, you may never have a second chance.
3. People will always judge you for what you do. That doesn't make it right. Don't judge them back.
4. Falling asleep is always better when someone's arms are around you.
5. Feelings that you have for people sometimes may never go away. Months later, and you will still find yourself thinking of them, whether you want to or not. Love never dies.

-Rache<3

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Thu, 28 Dec 2006 14:52:50 GMT

if there was a very large body of water
and everyone was being thrown into that water
one at a time

certain people would sink
and
certain people would float

i would sink.

i'm the heaviest piece of industrial brilliance you can find.
and i'll be drifting swiftly toward the bottom in no time.

try to save me.
i can't even save myself.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Wed, 20 Dec 2006 03:32:02 GMT

There is perfectly good reason for the fact that my breathing isn't regular.
There is perfectly good reason why I'm getting sick to my stomach.

I have all the reason in the world to feel disgusting and beautiful all at the same time.

I made a decision so damn long ago.
And it's still affecting me now...

It's still alive, it's still real, it's still here.

And it's pulling real emotion from me.
It's pulling real tears from me.

Because the days are few.

I did it. And I'd do it again.

No one has ever felt as real as I have in the past.
Hundreds of days ago.

-Rache<3